Police officer: Yaw rite? You all right?
Driver: ‘maw rite. I’m all right.
Yeshoor? (Are) You sure?
Aye. Yes.
Zisyoors? Is this yours?
Zwitmine ? Is what mine?
Ris caur This car.
Sibrurn laws I’m not sure…
Wers heeren? Where is he, then? (So Sibrurun laws is who owns the car)
Raboozers. Also not sure. But whatever it is, that’s where Sibrurun laws is.)
Yebeen garglin’? You been drinking?
Jissa cupple. Just a couple.
Yur stoatin’. You’re drunk.
Naw’mno’ No I’m not.
Ye urstoatin’ Yes you are. (paraphrase there)
Umnoe. I am not!
Geezyer licence. Give me your licence.
‘Vno Goatwan. I haven’t got one.
Geroot racaur. Get out of the car.
Whiffur? What for?
‘Mapolis. No clue, dude, what this means.
Ommigoad. Oh my God.
Geroot Ren. Get out then.
Awrite, ‘mcomin’ All right. I’m coming.
Blawintaethis. Blow into this. (Like a Breathalyzer, maybe?)
‘Mgonny Besik. I’m going to be sick.
Noanme Yurno. Not on me, you’re not.
‘Mawrite Noo. I’m all right now.
Getna Paddywagon. Get in the paddywagon.
Wer Wigaun? Where are we going?
Ra Jile. The jail.
Ohmigoad, rawife’ll murder me. Oh, my God, the wife’ll murder me.
Getna Wagon. Get in the wagon.
Aw, Neveragain. Oh, never again.
Ratsit furme. That’s it for me.

Transliterated into British English were possible. Clearly, after almost in a week in the States, I’ve still not quite got the hang of the accent!

Police officer: Yaw rite? You all right?
Driver: ‘maw rite. Yes, I’m all right
Yeshoor? Are you sure?
Aye. Yes
Zisyoors? Is this yours?
Zwitmine ? Is what mine?
Ris caur This car.
Sibrurn laws It’s my brother-in-law’s
Wers heeren? Where’s he then?
Raboozers. In the pub.
Yebeen garglin’? Have you been drinking.
Jissa cupple. Just a couple
Yur stoatin’. You sir, are thoroughly inebriated.
Naw’mno’ I am not.
Ye urstoatin’ You most certainly are.
Umnoe. I most certainly am not.
Geezyer licence. Please hand over your license.
‘Vno Goatwan. I don’t have one.
Geroot racaur. Please get out of the car.
Whiffur? What for?
‘Mapolis. I’m a police officer.
Ommigoad. Oh my God.
Geroot Ren. Get out then.
Awrite, ‘mcomin’ Alright, I’m coming.
Blawintaethis. Blow (Breathe) into this.
‘Mgonny Besik. I’m going to be sick
Noanme Yurno. Not on me you’re not.
‘Mawrite Noo. I’m alright now.
Getna Paddywagon. Get into the police car.
Wer Wigaun? Where are we going?
Ra Jile. The jail (the police station?)
Ohmigoad, rawife’ll murder me. Oh my God, the wife’ll murder me.
Getna Wagon. Get into the car.
Aw, Neveragain. Oh, never again.
Ratsit furme That’s it for me.

Yesterday was spent mostly phoning Virgin to demand to know what the hell was up with my Internet Connection. I’d been planning on having a lazy day playing WoW, but the Internet wasnt playing ball. Turns out that theres an ongoing problem with the main Edinburgh cable thingy, which didnt effect me until “Milo”, my ancient hardware firewall finally fell over.
Thankfully Adam is back in the city and wasnt doing anything, so he was able to come over and help me out by determining exaclty where the problem was at my end. So know we have a shiny new Router and my internet is working like poo off a shiny shovel. (very fast). I think Milo was breaking down for quite some time, which would explain a lot about my latency problems….

Then it was off to see Spiderman 3 last night. I’ll let you make your own mind up if/when you manage to see it, but for me it was a lot like Attack of the Clones. Way too much going on, all wrapped around a soap-opera love story.
At least they did a good job with Venom.

Could be a big part of why you’re so deadbeat exhausted?